View Full Version : New Lutheran Airline

June Pelo
02-02-05, 22:27
Here's a funny joke I received:

New Lutheran Airline


If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.

Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.

Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by freewill offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.

Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599,

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and sovill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin presure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.

You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet.. sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.

In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us," which isn't right, but what can you do?

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.

We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin!

Right now I'll say Grace. "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close. Amen!


Karen Norwillo
03-02-05, 02:56
Wonderful, June. I think I might like a seat on that airline. I'd feel right at home. Karen

03-02-05, 03:52
so how much is duh fare? and where do we go? maybe to duh UP, eh? Marquette's got dat big fancy new airport 25 miles away from anybody. The one by Marquette was too close by.


03-02-05, 15:16
It's too darn close to da real world of flying to be funny:D

03-02-05, 17:56
Here is another airline story with a somewhat black humor:

A german jetliner's engines stopped during it's flight to New York. The plane landed in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Luckily there was a ship a small distance off.

"Here eez yoor captain speaking. Do not panick. Zose of yoo who can shvimm, climb on ze right ving. Zose of yoo who cannot shvimm climb on ze left ving. Yoo on ze right ving, start shvimming. Yoo on ze left ving, zank yoo for flying Lufthansa."


04-02-05, 23:22
Well, sorry, I have missed a couple of days reading here, but am well and truly back on track again after reading that June. Thank you so much. Loved it, every word of it. Stilll laughing as I write.


June Pelo
05-02-05, 01:32
I wish I could put sound effects here of my cousin and his Swedish accent. It cracks me up. We were on a tour once and the guide was explaining things to us, but Roger was muttering comments to me in his Swedish accent and I almost got hysterical. I think the guide was ready to throw us out.:p