View Full Version : Swedish-Norwegian Jokes

June Pelo
20-03-05, 21:50
A Swede was in a pub in Norway and a regular customer suggested to him:
"I'll give you 200 Kroners if you let me smash ten beer bottles on your head."
The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of the peer pressure. The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles.
"So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the Swede.
"I am not a total idiot," the Nowegian replied, "then I would have to give you that 200 Kroners."

A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian found themselves deserted on a small island. A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. First they asked the Norwegian. The Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more. The cannibals went to find the wife. After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a canoe out of his skin.

The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. He got his cigarette. After he was finished, he was eaten and his skin was used to make a canoe.

Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a knife. He started to punch holes into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME!"

What is a party game played by two Swedes?
One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in it.

Q: What is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians?
A: The Swedes have nice neighbors!

Interpol was looking for an escaped convict in Sweden, and sent pictures of the man to the Swedish police. The pictures were taken from both sides and the front. After a few days the Swedes replied: "We caught the guys on the left and the right but the one in the middle got away".

Two men were sitting on a bench in a park. One of them was drunk, and the other was also Swedish!

Q: What's the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Sent by a Norwegian to a Swede who sent them to me.


23-03-05, 13:04
Why can't Jesus' second coming happen in Sweden?

You need three wise men and a virgin

How do you sink a Norwegian submarine?

You dive down to it and knock on the hatch.


28-03-05, 02:20
How does a Norwegian make a counterfeit 100 kronor banknote?

ans: He takes a 1000 kronor banknote and crosses out the last 0