View Full Version : Sort of a Joke/Poem

23-04-06, 22:24
Here is the English Language joke/poem mentioned previously. Not my own work!!

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(which of course is not a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisable

And why is it that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends


24-04-06, 07:52
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns dow

This one we have in Swedish also. When a school burned to the ground in Borgå in the 1950ies, the chief of the fire department wrote in the journal:

"The school burned up and down"


Jaska Sarell
24-04-06, 13:51
When you want to silence a computer, you shut it down.
If you want to silence a man, you ask him to shut up.

:) Jaska