View Full Version : A Slimmer's Lament

22-09-06, 09:43
No potatoes, no white bread
No pork pies, eat bran instead
Count the calories when you dine
Lost two ounces - doing fine.

Fifty press-ups, jog two miles
Lost two more ounces - I'm all smiles.
Gosh, I'm hungry! Could eat a horse,
Must settle for much less of course.

Two small mushrooms, a lettuce leaf,
Half an ounce of lean roast beef.
Was tempted last night - nearly blew it!
Licked a pork chop, but didn't chew it.

That diet book, I wish I'd burned it
A glass of wine - I think I've earned it.
Back on the scales. What's this I see?
I've put two pounds on. It just can't be!

I've tried - I swear by all that's holy!
Ah! I think I'l stay a roly-poly!

Author unknown - one word changed (beer, to wine - I don't like beer):) :D