View Full Version : Four all time favs

24-03-07, 03:29
. Husband's Choice:
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.
Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.

2. Marriage Relationship:
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" Her husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.

3. The Eye Examination:
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First,
of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a
card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy."

3. A Misunderstanding:
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must
tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent!"
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

4. Backseat Driver:
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them & black pepper. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied:
"I just wanted to show you what it feels like, when I'm driving."