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June Pelo
28-10-08, 17:24
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins:

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

The Associate Minister unveilled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.