View Full Version : Application for Minnesota Citizenship

10-02-10, 18:08
Application for Minnesota Citizenship

Personal Information:

Name ___________________son

Sex: ___ Ole ___ Lena

Home Address ________________
Cabin Address ________________ Religion: _____ Lutheran ______ Catholic

____ We do okay
____ We're Blessed
____ None of your beeswax

Qualifications: (check all that apply)

___ I own a gas-powered ice auger.

___ Fargo floods hit a little close to home.
___ I can name a dozen celebrities who've stayed at the Mayo.

___ I can name a dozen celebrities who've stayed at

___ I've been trick or treating in two feet of snow.

___ My grandmother made me eat lutefisk.
___ I liked it!

___ My snowmobile has more miles on it than my car does.

___ I have a back-up set of jumper cables in my trunk.

___ Despite what everyone else says, I
DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT! (For sure, you bet I don't.)

True/ False:

___ I actually listen to telemarketers.

___ "Have a Nice Day" is an ORDER!

___ TV news anchors are celebrities.

___ Part of my tongue is on a flagpole somewhere.
___ It's not a rubber binder! It's a rubber band.

___ They mistake "pop" for "soda" in most other states.

___ Hot Dish is neither a beautiful woman nor an overheated plate.

___ Paw is both a hand and the male parent.
Multiple Choice:
It's time to wear a hat when:

A) The temperature is below 10 degrees.

B) Your mother tells you to!

C) The temperature is -10 and the wind chill is in double digits.

Essay Question:

What "UFF-DA" means to me:

You know you're from Minnesota when ....

Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.

"Vacation" means going to Brainerd for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day, especially in Duluth.

You use a down comforter in the summer, especially in Duluth.

Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes to social events.

You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both doors unlocked.

You think of the major food groups as venison and walleye.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.

You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pj's.

You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

It takes you three hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop to talk to everyone in town.

You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Minnesota .

D J Granlund
11-02-10, 17:43
Being from Minnesota, I know I do not have to send this to all of my friends. It would be bringing coals to Newcastle. David :D