View Full Version : Some old.. some new :)

June Pelo
11-07-13, 03:29
A Swede took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to him in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a game, I'll ask you a question, if you answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink, if you can't, then you buy ME one, Okay?"
"Ya, dat sounds purty good," said the Swede.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Swede scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It was ME," chortled the Indian.
So the Swede paid for the drinks.
... Back in Sioux Falls the Swede went into a bar and spotted one of his cronies, "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," said Sven.
Okay . . my fadder and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder, It vasn't my sister, Who vas it?"
"Search me," said Sven. "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It vas some Indian up in Fargo, Nort Dakoda."

Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex relations?" He asked.
"Vell, Ole, I yust don't know," replied Lena... I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas."

Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet."
"How come?" asked Lars.
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing."

The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. "Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here" he says and hangs up.
"Who vas dat?" asks Lena.
"I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear".

There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers, and the boss had to choose between a team of two Norwegian guys and a team of two Irish guys. So the boss met with both teams and said: "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job."
Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed.
They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.
Forty-five minutes later, Ole and Sven, the Norwegian guys came back in and they were totally exhausted. The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys install?"
Ole, the team leader wiped his brow and sighed, "Sven and me, we got three in."
The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Irish guys put in twelve!"
" Yeah," said Ole, "but you should see how much they left stickin' out of the ground!"