View Full Version : The half-wit

June Pelo
15-08-13, 20:16
Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.

'Well,' replied old John, 'There's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,' says the agent.

'That would be me,' replied old rancher John.

Two brawny men came to a woman's house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done.

As they were getting ready to leave, the woman asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. She really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked her to move her car, which was blocking their van.

She told them her fee: $45.00.

There was a burning building with a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde at the top. The firemen yelled to the redhead to jump into a blanket and she jumped off the building; as she was about to safely hit the blanket they moved it and she was seriously injured.

They yelled to the brunette to jump but she says, "No, I saw what you did to the redhead!" They shouted, "We don't like redheads!" So the brunette jumped and sure enough they moved the blanket and she was seriously injured also.

Then they shouted to the blonde to jump off into the blanket. But the blonde says, "No, I saw what you did to them!" They shouted, "We don't like them!"

The blonde then says, "I don't trust you guys; put the blanket on the ground and step back!"