View Full Version : One-liners

June Pelo
19-01-14, 22:52
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnít work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

I didnít say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

If winning isnít everything why do they keep score?

This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, youíll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

21-01-14, 21:22
Love 'em, it's always good to laugh.